Living on the brink of the Abyss of Death................
Heartbroken and devastated I feel I shall forever be
It's been over a week since you were taken from me.
Each day I pray it will be easier
But too much evidence of your life, your love
is left behind.
I cry at the sight, taste, smell of so many things.
You were wrapped up in my very existence
You gave me the will to go on each day,
no matter how little else there was,
there was always you.
But now you're gone and there's nothing left
but memories, empty chairs, an empty bed
lonesome days, and even lonelier nights.
I cry when I go to sleep
I cry when I awaken and see you aren't there
and then realize you will never be there again.
I changed the sheets last night, the sheets you last
slept on with me, I cried, I don't want to wash them,
I don't want to wash you away.
I am crippled by my grief, something I've never known before
because no one ever loved me before,nothing like your love.
I miss your sweet smell, your warmth, your being there, but most of
all I miss the love I knew that lived inside you.
That is what I can't forget that is what I can't move past,
that is what makes me mourn each day and it doesn't get easier.
I think it keeps adding up, and gets worse.
You were my best friend, the only one who was
ever faithful, always loving, forgiving, always waiting
for me, understanding, sweet, happy, funny, but most important
you were there, always there for me.
And now you're gone, and I can't see life without you.
It's a crutch, I know, and I never knew I'd feel this way
but I do.
You were so wrapped up in my life for so long, through three moves,
other people coming and going, adjusting, adapting, taking charge
when you were given that position without choice and doing a
wonderful job at it. You made me feel safe, loved, happy
but most of all you made me have faith everyday, despite the
worlds constant need to take that away, faith that God exists
and he is close by,
for I saw him in you.
I always tried to thank you for your loving kindness, your sweet
gestures that were all your own, for your loyalty, and for your love.
I thank you for holding on so long for me through so much, and for
putting up with me through it all. But most of all I have to thank
God for making you for me. Even though you are gone
I know you were created for me, so special just perfect in every way,
there could be no other that fit me so well, and yet I never knew,
until I found you that day.
That day was a Tuesday, and I lost you on a Friday.
I will hold on to Tuesday and forever be grateful.
But I will never forget you, never get over you, never love another like you again, my precious babydoll.
I know you wanted to be called Sarai more my Princess, but you were a true kelev, you were my heart.